Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you never un-have a 4some
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
