how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
