Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
