Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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