Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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