I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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