he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize