He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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