i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
