i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
