Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
