hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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