YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Randomize
