We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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