His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
