Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
