She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
