i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
