She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
