using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
