you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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