i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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