It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
me + whiskey = a bad person
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
