We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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