we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
