I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
