I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
