I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
