The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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