The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
