what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
