Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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