Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
