did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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