Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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