I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
