Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
