Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
