You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
