i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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