Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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