there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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