WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
