why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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