I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
