i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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