Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
