That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I supernannyed him into submission
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
