im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She told me I should be a condom model.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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