no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
