I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
