well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize