Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
