I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
