Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
