My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize