we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
