I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
