Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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